Easing the Pace
During your college years and early career, it’s hard to ignore an imaginary, internal clock. Constantly running in the back of your head; not always heard but surely felt. When trying to achieve certain goals, it’s hard not to feel the pressure of always fighting against time.There are expectations in internships to make an impression in the short time you have, getting a case study out of it if you’re lucky. Your first job will have goals you should hit at the 30, 60, and 90-day marks. If you want a promotion out of that entry-level position, the first year will be spent trying to prove yourself more so than veterans around you. The need to impress is thought of outwardly, focusing less so on what you think of yourself and instead center around what others think of you and how much you can achieve in a certain period of time. Maybe there are awards for breakout stars or age-based recognitions, both of which come with cutoff times for when you can earn them.
I have spent the majority of my 20s racing against these clocks, constantly trying to prove myself with little regard for whether I was getting any personal satisfaction from it, instead caring about how or if others were satisfied with me. More recently, I’ve been able to ignore the clock and focus on how I perceive my work more so than how others may.
The past decade has been spent striving for what was next. Completed internship? Great, go get another and prove yourself again. Got a job? Congrats, now work even harder to keep it. Others going to grad school? Well, go get a masters too and finish at the top of your cohort.
Each of these steps were accompanied by an imaginary timer I put there myself. Now, I’m feeling that timer less and less. I no longer feel the need to expand my résumé in terms of quantity, instead concentrating on doing well in my current position while also aiming for personal satisfaction in the work I’m doing. I’m able to sit back, take a deep breath, and just appreciate where I’ve come from and how I got here.